Bullied to be Bold
10/21/2015
I know all too well what it feels like to be left out, made fun of, ridiculed, be the object of jokes, name called, picked on and bullied. For me, it all started in elementary school. I did not wear sought after name brand clothes ( I wore clothes I liked not ones to fit in), I did not choose friends from “the in group” and I already had a solid belief in Jesus Christ. Those who liked to "call" themselves my friends took every opportunity to make fun of, embarrass, laugh at and ridicule me daily. When integration took place, I made new friends from the African American community and the ridicule for me only increased. None of my other “white friends” made close friendships with our new counterparts but remained in their "exclusive white worlds". I was NOT conforming to stay in some imaginary “ inner circle.” Needless to say my choice to live true to my beliefs and convictions increased the level of verbal and physical abuse I dealt with daily. I liked people for who they were not based on whether they were rich/poor, black/white, republican/democrat, christian/jew, where they lived, or the clothes they wore. A few of the girls in the “in group” caused so much division the school counselor called a meeting of the 3rd grade parents. She conveyed in all her years she had never seen a group of kids who were characterized by such materialistic, haughty, petty, competitive, judging and argumentative attitudes. The attitudes were ostracizing, hurting and damaging the character and trust in friendships. She gave suggestions to the parents of areas to be addressed and then she later met with the girls. Now I do not know how other parents dealt with this information, but my parents “reminded me” that I was to NEVER elevate myself above others or treat one as inferior nor allow someone to treat me or others in the same manner. I was "to do to others as I would have done to me.” I was taught early on to put myself in someone else’s place just as Christ had stepped into mine.
When I reached middle school, things only escalated as I not only had black friends but I was friends with people “they deemed outcasts” and one of them was a Vietnamese girl. She was new to our country, our city and school as her family was a refugee. She was an incredibly beautiful girl with a kind and sweet spirit. The "so called" popular girls called her names, made fun of her inability to speak English well and laughed at her clothes. They would hold their noses telling her she smelled and needed to go back to Vietnam. Many other students stood by laughing at the comments, holding their noses and cheering those girls to continue in their cruelty! Even though no one else stood in her defense I did. Sadly, the bullies did not know how to deal with others who weren't clones of themselves and desiring to be popular they did and said things that were hateful. I was told by the “in girls” if I wanted to hang out with them I needed to get away from certain people as they did not meet "their criteria." NEWSFLASH...I was already hanging with my true friends and did not desire inclusion with people who treated others disparagingly. Well for every action there is a reaction. On several occasions, my yard had hurtful messages burned into it with rock salt. It was on display for everyone to see who rode the school bus thus fueling more demeaning, embarrassing, and humiliating insults that caused frustration and sadness. One may ask how did you make it through those years? My parents did a great job encouraging and directing me to who God said I was in the His Word. I walked away from those years of abuse as fiercer, bolder, stronger and louder in proclaiming who He said I was and living in that love towards others. Those years taught me there is only one who dictates who I am and that is God. I learned the following from those years:
When others spend as much time and energy making one's life miserable they did there is a heart condition that needs to be dealt with
Confident people act according to what is right not what is popular
To stand firm in my convictions
To look at myself through the lens of Christ not through the marred lens of broken people
To live authentically embracing my life and the relationships I have with passion
To enjoy my own style instead of looking like everyone else
To laugh at myself when necessary
Not to personalize what is someone else's problem .
To forgive, pray for and love others and not repay evil with evil
Our God can and does use all things in our lives if we allow Him
Even though that happened some 40 plus years ago, I am still ridiculed for my beliefs as many of you are as well. Based on the scriptures it will only get worse as our society continues to remove themselves from the authority of God. But we can be encouraged as Deuteronomy 31:6 says, "He will give us strength and courage and we do not need to fear or be in dread for it is the Lord our God who goes with us. He will not leave us or forsake us.” Continue to stand firmly rooted my friends as He is our reward!
Love to you all!